We were excited
bubbling laughter, we fought to keep in our stomachs
in our chrysalises, we sat counting seconds silently
sporting teeth grinding grins, eyes tightly shut
fists clenched, vibrating.
In the final seconds, the air thinned,
our chests heaved and the noise rose
till it was silent
and our enclosements burst open.
Like rockets, we shot towards a sky
we had never seen before
liquid euphoria streaming down our faces,
wind rushing through our hair
rustling our newfound wings
wide-eyed, I hovered at a height
where the world fit in my hand
staring at the sun, thinking
there is no secret beyond this
but like the fading of a vision,
the awakening from a dream,
I felt a tugging behind me,
a vigorous scrubbing and pulling
I remembered I was not alone.
A swarm of newborns had formed
at my back
their faces betraying false curiosity
and misplaced purpose,
surrounding my wings
touching and prodding,
fascinated by something
I could not see
“why?”
they looked at me
like the question had scorched them,
pointing at my wings
and then theirs
I noticed something then,
complementary, secondary
and not worth the interruption
their wings were the color of water
and life and earth
from which we had come,
comforting, comprehensible
and mine were the colour of skies
and clouds and things out of reach
and places uncharted
with patterns of organization
we did not understand
and therefore were ugly
on sight.
If I had not seen what I had
moments before
I would have thought that
this space and moment
constituted the universe
I stayed silent
under their scrutiny
looking at the stars and particles
that formed us
and knowing they were on my side
but mouthless and unable to defend me.
how quickly heaven
had turned to a courtroom
I watched the curiosity slip off their faces
like a mask and reveal an anger
that slowly turned righteous
and they began to rush towards me
like a tempestuous sea.
They ripped and tore at my wings
with a conscious carelessness
confident in their judgement
like we hadn’t entered this world
at the same time.
My wings, tattered as they had become
could no longer hold wind
and so I began to fall.
