Bellowed and bellied

Bellowed and bellied, 
In heavy breath and daisy chain fingernails-
I realise 
I have no idea 
Where my light switch is. 
I only know nighttime, 
And yellow wine bottles,
And books on feminism 
And Voltaire 
And vanilla perfume. 
I don’t know how to swallow the Valium of 
Or soak in the epsom salts of 
Yet there is some rose-gold 
In my sugar-cane hair,
And even in her moments of proposed 
Delicate intimacy, 
She is roaring against 
The four-eyed responsibility 
To normality
That sits on my temples 
Like a crown too heavy for this 
Vein-stained neck. 
I like my voice,
But worry it’s only because beneath
The shimmer of 
Fairy lights
That have dotted my back since adolescence,
You whispered to me in a voice 
(I despise to like as much as I do)
That you did.

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