i have to write my thoughts down for them to become real, otherwise they melt away
like wispy clouds into the azure
i have to confirm that i am real through photographs, otherwise i am a floating brain

as i get older (but remain pretty young), i increasingly am becoming more aware that humans are just concoctions of chemicals and patterns and learnt responses and reward systems (which makes everything so much more simple and complicated in the same instance.) we are all staying afloat within our own truths, and none are singular or correct. grey areas, and as many perspectives as there are people. to know ourselves is to understand there are disparities, but oneness.

creating has always been a way to know myself more deeply. intimacy with myself, for me, takes form in finding small moments that connect me to myself, moments that allow me to be soft and present. i am in constant contact with My Younger-Self, telling her what couldn’t be articulated before. what i didn’t have the language to say, what i now whisper, and what one day i hope i can shout. i am constantly meeting the different parts of myself in new places; in Megan Thee Stallion’s lyrics, in Pablo Neruda’s poetry, in the dappled sun-light through tree branches.

all that was present but unspoken, i now explain to myself through instagram psychologist’s posts and feminist self-help books. only when the dust was kicked up and disturbed, did i notice that anything was dirty.

words and photographic art by Anna Kerr

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